Musings Palmarum

Autumn Updates

2026-10-29T00:00:00+00:00

The winter is almost upon us! Alas, my track record over the past few months has been rather disappointing. Even though my grades at uni are alright, I've failed at everything else. I keep starting a learning project and abandoning it just as it picks up steam.

There's this thing in me pushing me down, like a sense of dread. It's not a voice per se, but something in me that doesn't want to succeed. I feel like I am at a nexus of twin collapsing pillars, and there are two "things" in my mind which are as opposed as Ahura Mazda and Ahriman are to each other.

I know, I've seen that stuff about Christ being the nexus point of the pillars, collapsing them onto himself as the hero Samson once did.

Yet it is our duty to balance our impulses, no matter how conflicting they might seem. This is a most intricate work, and one that Christ's example shows can be borne.

Some updates on my "views": I went through a phase where I felt Life is meaningless, existentialism, etc. But then I came to realize that I intrinsically value certain behaviors or modes of thinking over others, in a way that resembles an intuition. I think God gave me these things, so he wants me to express or personify them in my life.

I feel like I am going through a bunch of analog waves. Anyways, tldr: I don't have a solution. Let this be a sign for me to just move on, accept what seems intuitive since I have no knowledge of the truth. As a wise contemporary once said, we may be as distant from the truth of reality as an ant is from modern society.

See ya later.

What I Planned

2026-09-25T00:00:00+00:00

This article involves content of a more personal nature, but I wanted to get it out there since it makes me think about what I have to say much more deeply.
I have been worrying a lot about what field would be appropriate to study, particularly given the rise of LLMs. Now my interests are quite expansive, but I have failed in my efforts multiple times due to the fact that I can get discouraged quite easily, internet addiction and simply ignoring the thing I was supposed to study to focus on other things which occupy my curiosity for just a moment.
Therefore I shall heed the recommendations of people much wiser than I am. First, see this message from Terry Davis (RIP): Artificial Intelligence Is Going To Be The Pressure Point. Others also have talked about a two-tiered social stratification that will be coming very soon.

So I will be assuming a "worst-case" scenario, where a combination of Artifical Intelligence and Robotics and other advancements in various fields will lead to the singularity. My aim is to still be useful if that were to happen, assuming there will still be a need for some humans to continue work (in the utilitarian sense).

The reason for this is that we can have no worth in a system, even to the level available to people now, without contributing at least some value to it. I would still say that I would be able to function in an AI utopia if that were to arise (without a job that is), by focusing on learning and experimentation even if they derive no public benefit.

So here's some initial background on myself first: I'm in my early 20s, studying Computer Science at a regular university (undergraduate). I do not live in a developed country, so there's that. I don't particularly excel academically, but I am still very much interested in computers and the prospects they might provide, although I am weary of the negative consequences as well. I have some experience with Linux, although I'm not that deep into it. I have studied one classical language, and I shall like to study more in the future!

What I will study

Note that I have already started on my journey for all three, but they need consolidation.

Electronics

This is a field I have picked not only because it is very interesting, exercising the primordial power of electricity in such a succinct and demonstrable way, but that it is also accessible to those who haven't gotten into an Electrical Engineering background, whilst still offering a path for deeper study. I might study C or Assembly along with this later ( more on those below).

Chinese

It seems that the Middle Kingdom is on the rise once again, and its people are working hard in order to develop it. The progress she has achieved has been wonderful, and learning the Chinese language can be a really big asset.

Computer Science

I shouldn't neglect my CS studies. The decisions I made led me up to this point, and the content of the CS instruction is still interesting to me (even if I wish I studied something else).

Maybe: C and Assembly

Particularly if I want to go down the embedded route, or if it is decided to rewrite (or at least have AI rewrite) all software into those two languages.

Importantly, I feel like these things do really interest me, I would still like to study them if Iwere living in the utopia, but perhaps not now as I would prioritize other areas of study over them. The only exception to this is some of the things I'm studying for my degree, as for example a course I'm taking now which revolves around C#, I'd much prefer something like C since C# feels like it was made to cater to Microsoft's needs, so C feels livelier by quite a bit.

Some other things I will implement:

Some Japanese tips I really liked.

Kaizen: aim at 1% improvement every day
Shokunin: perfect things one at a time
progress is 1% success built on top of 99% failure
reflect on the day at its end, note bad things even if everything seemed to go perfectly
have a purpose in life

On Learning

2026-09-19T00:00:00+00:00

Many people have their own idiosyncrasies for learning something new. Some people may prefer a more visual format, others prefer solving problems, etc.

Feng Liu's Fate

2026-09-19T00:00:00+00:00

Feng Liu was a bright boy from Sichuan province.

On a bright day, when the sun shone on a remote village in Sichuan, a veritable star was born in the local hospital. His parents were certainly not wealthy, but they could afford to give their newborn and only son the basic amenities that would make people here content with their lives. This was the China of the early 1990s, when the economy was rapidly expanding and everyone was looking forward to the future.

As Feng was growing up, he soon became a prodigy: he started reading at 5 months old, and speaking much earlier. At the age of 3 he started his long track of erudite learning, becoming a polyglot at age 7. His knowledge of English dazzled the entire village, and the government officials soon noticed. Feng was taken to Beijing, where his talents could be better nurtured. Feng exceeded expectations even there, and he soon became a true polymath. His wide expertise helped him in his new study of Quantum Mechanics, where he finally discovered a way of changing the atomic structure of molecules. He could create gold out of dirt.

When the Government found out, they thought they won the lottery. Here is an invention that will propel their country to world domination. They kept this a state secret until they could build a deadly force to defeat their enemies.

But during this process, spies managed to gather knowledge of this new development and leak it to Washington. Panic set in there immediately: but they must move discreetly, since if the Chinese found out the Americans had found out their secret plan, they would immediately strike with all the great progress they already made! America needs patience.

But they couldn't let things slide: America needed to move a lot of stuff to the Eastern theater near Peking, as much as they could without provoking their adversary.

The Americans found it necessary to do a coup d'etat on themselves, as their future moves would really fit the pattern of a military occupational government more than that of a civilian one. So on a cloudy day, the military converged on Washington, declared the government insolvent, and took a militaristic tone. But behind the confident posture, panic was king. Officials debated the correct path forward, how much they could provoke the bear without being annihilated.

But in the midst of this conundrum, someone leaked the real reason behind the coup to Beijing. China recognized the moment to act is now: and even a year was plenty to yield real results. Compared to China's army, the rest of the world's looked like something from the stone age.

China then went on the offensive: a quantum radar darkened Taipei, no electricity and all motor vehicles were out. Even the guns weren't firing. The world was horrified, and a Chinese task force was escorted from a landing beach where they were supposed to brutally fight, and taken to Taipei to receive the surrender of the "separatist" government. This scene shocked the entire world, and riots broke out immediately after China's unveiling. Riots gripped the streets of Washington, as fear struck the mind of all.

But out of this chaos rose three hundred suns in China. Major world leaders had already converged on New York, in order to decide on the appropriate response to the most recent developments. All the great powers agreed that the best recourse is to drop as many nuclear and hydrogen bombs on China as possible, and hope for the best.

All the planes in the world had one great target, and Armageddon had arrived. China could not sit idly, they too had nuclear weapons. But the quantum discoveries hadn't helped them much here, relatively speaking. So their nuclear capabilities were roughly on par with those of the rest of the world combined. The issue was that China was much smaller in size than the rest of the world.

China responded in kind: bombs were dropped on Washington and Moscow. The international war had both sides dropping everything they had, as China was simultaneously trying to expand its borders. But progress was tough due to all the radiation. After the dropping of a thousand bombs, all major governments collapsed. Civilization was returning to the stone age.

Somewhere in a bunker in Hunan, a scientist has wept for hours. He can't seem to forgive himself, seeing himself responsible for the death of billions. Somewhere in the distance, a bright light shines through the narrow vertical windows. The man never stops crying, but it is all over.